Whoa Z and x make the same sound
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Randomize
