I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
