he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
