Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
