I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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