The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
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