Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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