The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize