Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
