there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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