ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
