Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
