By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
