Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
