They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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