Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
