he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
