Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Every concussion has its silver lining
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
