Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She bit a glass in half.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize