How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
