the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
