we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
