He is an equal opportunity slut.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
