Screwed.edu
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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