Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
