did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Randomize
