You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
