White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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