At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
