that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Randomize
