butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
