We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
