Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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