margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
