spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
