We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
never play flip cup with pint glasses
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
i believe in u and ur pee
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
