So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
