Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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