I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
