if i died would you start the facebook group?
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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