my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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