Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
