you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
