Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
