Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
