i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Randomize
