You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize