i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
