she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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