Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I came so hard my ears popped.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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