I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
If that was your dad, he is hot
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
