What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize