There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
