I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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