The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
