Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
