we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize