Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
