Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
