...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Princesses don't give blow jobs
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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