is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
