saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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