I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
