I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
