Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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