? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize