Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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