Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
