Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
