she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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