The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
