you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
