grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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