Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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