just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
