Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
