Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
