rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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