Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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