So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
People in love make me want to vomit
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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