the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize