yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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